Natasha - The Artist

I am sitting at my computer, working away. As you know from previous posts, I work from home. I live in the suburbs, so it’s very quiet during the day, since most people around work in town. I can usually hear a pin drop.

This morning, after driving my daughter to daycare, I came back home to work and was greeted by a slew of spirits. I feel stared at by a few dozen pairs of eyes. My shoulders are constantly getting goosebumps. I am hearing voices and objects are cracking around me. I feel like people are flinging by me while I sit still. It’s the first time that ever happens to me.

I don’t yet know why this is happening now. I don’t know why these people are here. I’m not scared of them, but I’m scared of what this might mean.

I’ll keep you posted when I find out what they want.

I had an interesting visit from a lady last night. I had just gone to bed. After writing a few pages in a journal, which I rarely do, I turned off the light and was trying to go to sleep. I started sensing someone coming in the room. I looked up to see if it was my husband coming to bed, but it wasn’t. Instead, my attention got drawn to a woman of about thirty to forty years old. She was dressed in a pretty off-white cotton blouse with long sleeves and frills, and she had an ankle length brownish skirt. Her hair was brown, in a bun with a few strands falling down to frame her face. 

I was repeatedly seeing her neck break and her head falling to one side. She was lost and scared. I sensed she died around 1922. Then, I intuitively saw two men dressed in black suits with black hats. They were driving a black car — looked exactly like a Chrysler Six (I looked it up). I could see it following a dirt road, with a mountain on one side and a cliff on the other. The car stopped. The two men took the woman out of the car. Margaret, her name was Margaret. She was kicking trying to free herself. One man put his hand on her mouth, he took his other hand and swung her head to one side to break her neck. He then threw her over the cliff. I could see her falling from above, as if I was looking at her through his eyes.

I rarely meet souls that have been dead that long. It’s a little difficult to tell them that there is a big chance their loved ones are already dead and on the other side, especially when that’s what they are holding on to… The hope to find their loved ones. I explained to her that if she went to the light, she would find her loved ones on the other side. She left my room. Unfortunately, she hasn’t gone through the light yet, I can still feel her around.

Sometimes, trying to convince a spirit to go through the light is as much a challenge as trying to convince a living person to follow their heart.

The world that surrounds you is a world of beauty. Notice this beauty every day. Every thing around you is made of light. The energy that is used to create these images is the same as the energy on the other side, it is a creation of God. God is within all of us. In you. You are made of the same energy that makes up the world. We are all one, with each other, with nature, with objects, with the wind, water, trees.

We are one in the Universe of God. What you think is reality in not reality at all. What you are living is part of a subconscious unity, where you are the creator of its destiny. Never forget that the one who loves you loves you forever, without conditions. You are the creator of your destiny. You might find that difficult to understand at first, but you will learn to accept it and will learn to manipulate your thoughts so that your destiny is the one you have been seeking. We are there to guide you. You can always ask for our help. If you do not hear our words with your ears, open up your heart to everything around you, for we not only speak to you, but we show you the path through signs. With an open heart, you will notice these signs. Trust them, for they are for you. Follow them for they will lead you in the right direction. Some signs may not make sense to you, but will come to make sense as you move along your path. Ask yourself “do I risk not following this sign?”, you will see that your heart will answer.The world is evolving to a higher level. You and all humankind are needed to help this evolution forward. You may have noticed the changes already: more people mention guides, channeling, spirits, … Movie productions are made specifically for this purpose: What the Bleep Do We Know?, The Secret, and many more. Some people who think they have control are afraid of these changes, they are afraid they are loosing control. They will create strong fears in the population to try and contain what they would call ‘damage’. Stay strong. Keep following your heart. Open your heart to bigger possibilities. Promote peace, love and harmony. Do not fight.

Natasha has asked me many times why this new openness of the world? Why does the world need this evolution? Our souls have reached a new level of learning, the Earth realm needs to adapt to this new level. Think of yourself in elementary school, in sixth grade. You are about to have learned everything you need to learn about the basics. It’s time to move on to high school. It’s the same thing with Earth. The soil you live on was built as a learning ground. It evolves to meet the needs of our dimension, where you are from. You are learning at this very moment, by reading this message. This learning helps with your own soul’s evolution. Every minute, every second of your life impacts your soul’s evolution.  

I had been doubting my abilities to connect with “the other side” for the past few months. I was ignoring that side of myself, all because I unexpectedly encountered one sceptic who made judgemental comments about what I see and feel. It was already difficult enough for me to talk about it, fearful of not being able to “prove” my abilities. So many people I know are curious about it, they believe in what I can do and want me to share it. But as soon as I face a little scepticism from one person overhearing my words, I freeze. I don’t know how to deal with that, or so I thought.

I read a few books on the subject these past weeks, thanks to my husband who bought them for me this Christmas. I learned a few new things, but in most part the content confirmed my abilities. What struck me the most, is that scepticism shuts everything down. When someone tries to make me prove my abilities, it does quite the opposite. Why? How do you react when someone implies you’re not doing your job right, or you’re not good enough? Your body shuts down. You do it instinctively to protect yourself. Well, it’s the same thing when someone is trying to show I’m lying, or I’m “full of it”. To connect to the other side, I need to be fully open, in a relaxed state, surrounded by good energy.

I can usually spot sceptics without them even speaking one word, because I feel their energy first. When I feel that kind of energy, I concentrate on protecting mine, which makes it more difficult to do my work. When scepticism creeps up unexpectedly through spoken words, and I don’t have time to veer it off, the ’damage’ takes a while to repair – I feel put down, not good enough, I doubt what I can do, and my confidence takes a dive.  In which case, the people who do believe are not benefiting from my abilities.

My message to sceptics: You’re allowed to believe in whatever you want. That’s the freedom of choice and I respect that. But others are also allowed to believe in life after death and that a handful of people have the gift of communicating with the other side. My gift is not to prove my abilities to you. I help people that believe I can help them. Who are you helping by trying to disprove my abilities?  If you don’t believe, you don’t believe – just leave it at that.

It’s been five months since I quit my full-time job at the government. At first, I took on many contracts, worked a few weeks as Production Coordinator and Graphic Designer on a show, took on more contracts, then more… Then it hit me. I was taking on all those contracts for the money. I was becoming overloaded with work and obsessed with making more money, in case I wouldn’t have any contracts the next month. I was miserable. I slowed down. I took on less and less jobs. I made less and less money, but I’m still here five months later. I am budgeting differently, limiting my expenses, but I am happier. I realized that I like graphic design, but I am really doing it just to survive. My true passion is acting. I am craving it, enough that I don’t feel like doing anything else. But acting isn’t cutting it money wise right now; so I have to kick myself to take on at least a few contracts a month.

It’s been five months… Five months of independence, non-scheduled days, no one to report to, freedom. I am happy. I love it. I don’t like having a routine to follow. It’s also the end of thirty-three years of routine, schedules, reporting to parents, teachers and bosses. It’s like reprogramming my system to live a completely different life. I’ve been programmed that you ‘have’ to work for a company with a boss to survive. You ‘have’ to have money to live. You do what society expects from you. For the past five months, I have done exactly the opposite.

My body is in shock. It’s grieving. It has realized that this is it. This is how it was meant to live. There’s no turning back, I’m too happy. So I grieve. I have reached the point where I don’t know what to do now. It’s like I am at the point of no return and I am confused about how to keep moving forward. Looking at the future right now is like looking into the abyss. Although it’s really like that all the time, we never know what tomorrow will bring, but in my case right now, I am letting myself feel it more. I face the unknown in a much stronger way than I used to.

Two years ago, I spent a weekend at a solitary camp not far from where I live. I needed the isolation from reality, and the quiet of the country. I got there the Friday around dinner time. It’s a great place. I had my individual cabin, with a wood stove and no electricity. It was amazing. I walked in trails all over the huge, wooded property. I was at peace. I would go pick up my food at the ‘kitchen’, a cabin near the entrance of the property, and bring it back to my cabin to cook it. Simple foods were always on the menu: potatoes, cucumbers, tomatoes, all kinds of veggies, fruit, cheese, milk, whole grains, … I picked up my water at a source about a 7 minute walk from my cabin.

The weekend was going so well. I was getting my energy back, energy I had been lacking for years. I was talking to no one (which is mandatory at this camp). Being an introvert, working in a very open area full of contractors at the time, plus raising a family at home, I never had, or took rather, the time to be by myself, to be quiet. So this weekend was a God send.

Sunday morning, I go out for a walk in a trail in the woods. After being out for about twenty minutes, I hear howling… like a wolf. Struck with panic, I freeze for a moment, trying to talk myself into just keep going. I loose it and turn around and run back to my cabin. I think it took me five minutes to run back. I catch my breath and make myself some lunch. While eating, I can’t get out of my head: “What am I doing here? I should be home with the kids. I want to go home.” My husband was picking me up the next day after dinner. I still had a day and a half to go. “Oh God, what now?”

I lay on my bed, crying, scared that I wasn’t doing the right thing. I decide to walk to the main house to call home so my husband can pick me up that same day. I knock on the door, a priest appears in the doorway. The place is run by Catholic priests, they don’t talk religion at all, unless you bring it up. Which is good for me, because I don’t practice anymore. They are there to listen if you need to talk. When I suggest I want to call home to leave, he kindly asks me to sit and chat before I do so. So I sit. He explained to me that I was at the point where my body was relaxed, I was truly with myself, and my body was starting to panic because it wasn’t used to that. I was used to always being busy, always having something to do, so I was now feeling guilty because I wasn’t ’doing anything’. He suggested I stick around just to see what would happen, to keep myself ‘busy’ by reading the books I had brought or by drawing. So I did, and how glad was I to have stuck around!

The Monday was amazing. I starting seeing things around me in a completely different light. It’s like I could truly see life. I heard things I had never heard before. I went back to my favorite spots to take mental pictures so I could return whenever I wanted in my dreams. At the end of the day, I was waiting for my husband and kids. I sat on a bench up on a hill. I had an amazing view. The wind was blowing gently on my cheek. I closed my eyes to feel it more. Then I heard a voice. I was channelling my guide for the first time. I was truly at peace with myself. I was grounded and centered. Holding on despite what my head was telling me was the best thing I could have done.

What I am feeling today, the confusion about where I am going, what I should be doing, is just like what I was feeling that Sunday afternoon. I think I should find myself a job, what I am doing is ridiculous. Who am I to ‘defy’ what society expects from me? You see, I am about to embark in the greatest journey of my life, and my body is resisting it. It’s trying to bring me back to what it’s used to — to the illusion of safety. I just have to stick with it. I have to keep riding the wave and not look back.