Dazed and Confused February 27, 2007
Posted by greenlavender in About a Medium, Emotions, Energy, Life, Mediumship, Metaphysical, Personal, Random, Spirituality.4 comments
I am not sure what to do, where to go. I have been posting motivational quotes, listening to uplifting music, been positive, still I am confused. It’s like I am having trouble listening to my instincts. Or, it could be that I am blocking them, from fear of what they will get me to do.
I feel like I am spinning out of control. Funny, my last post was just about that, how I am not meant to be ‘in control’. So maybe I feel like I am spinning for a reason. Natasha, GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!! All these ‘maybe’s and ‘what if’s will not bring me anywhere. I am normally so calm and composed, now I feel like I am a nervous wreck.
I am not used to moving forward blindly. I always kinda knew where I was headed. This is new for me — trusting my unknown path that is.
I am resisting a lot of things lately. I started my Lady Di painting in mid-January and it’s still not finished (reminder: no clue why I am painting Lady Di — just felt I needed to). I can see my painting area from where I sit typing away and I feel my unfinished painting ’staring’ at me, saying “What are you waiting for???” Nancy, maybe it would be time for a butt kicking get-together. Although I know things are movin’ and’a shakin’ for you.
Phone’s ringing, be back soon.
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I just spent an hour and a half talking to my Dad in Massachussetts. It always feels great to talk to my Dad. He knows exactly how to cheer me up. Love you Dad, miss you.
Just before the phone rang, I got this weird sensation. First, my right ear blocked and started ringing. When I was a kid, I was told that happens when some cells in your ear are dying. Recently, I read that happens when your ear is trying to adjust to a different frequency. I prefer the latter definition, it’s much more interesting. Anyway, after my ear rang, I started hearing loud sounds, screeching sounds. I couldn’t quite make out what they were. I knew it was not coming from within the house, nor outside for that matter. It seemed to be far away, but really close at the same time. Coincidentally 
, I just read in Sylvia Browne’s book that sounds from the Afterlife are often heard in that way and that they are often difficult to make out. Cool! Just for the record, there is definitely something going on. I still got that feeling, but I can’t make out what it is. I’ve never really felt that before. I’m even having a hard time finding a comprehensible way of describing the feeling. I think my extra senses are heightening… which could come back to my thinking that when things seem to go slower (or are confusing), I might be getting ready for an upcoming big leap. Never know!
“The Universe waits in smiling repose until I get over it” February 27, 2007
Posted by greenlavender in About a Medium, Empowering, Energy, Inspiration, Life, Personal, Quotes, Random, Spirituality.6 comments
I’m human, just like all of us, and sometimes I jump into my mistrustful mode and think that I have to take charge and be in control of everything. The Universe waits in smiling repose until I get over it. Gratitude quickly brings me back.– Louise Hay
I often wondered what happens when I am in those moods where I don’t feel in control, I feel like I’m not doing enough to ‘advance’ towards my destiny…
When Doubt Sets In February 24, 2007
Posted by greenlavender in About a Medium, Inspiration, Life, Personal, Spirituality.4 comments
As positive as I am in my life and sure of the direction I want it to take, doubt sets in once in a while. It’s like a cycle. The last time doubt crept up I surrounded myself with uplifting music and images. I made myself playlists of great motivating songs (some inspired by my friend Trish — thanks), like Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield, Love Will Save The Day by David Usher, World by Five for Fighting, and many more. The right kind of music helps me find my confidence again and makes doubt smaller. I also admire my vision board I did after watching The Secret.
There is something different this time. I am doubting what I represented on my vision board. Well not all of it, just the most life changing part. Is that REALLY what I want? Now more importantly, am I asking myself this question because I am really not sure or because I am resisting? That’s the first question I need to answer. ‘Cause if it’s resistance, then I will give it the boot right out the door and never think about it ever again. I will meditate on that for a while.
Maybe I am just too hard on myself and I am stressing myself out for something that’s not even happened yet. My Guide keeps telling me to trust. My wish for my future is mostly about what I want to feel and not what I want to do — although I did assume I knew what the path to the feeling would be. Benjamin will help me get to the feeling I am sure, whether or not I was completely off track. I need to get out of my head and just go with the flow. It’s so easy to get carried away once the thoughts come racing in. Just like in this post right now…
On a completely different note, it’s my son’s birthday this Wednesday — he’ll be 6. It’s also the anniversary of my ‘opening up’. The birth of my son triggered the whole thing — I am extremely grateful. Merci mon ange d’amour.
Green Lavender = Santolina Rosmarinifolia February 14, 2007
Posted by greenlavender in About a Medium, Inspiration, Life, Personal, Plants, Random, Spirituality.2 comments
‘Green Lavender Cotton’, or ‘Santalina rosmarinifolia’, is a high endurance, low water usage ground covering plant. ‘Rosmarinifolia’ means ‘with Rosemary leaves’, its leaves are very aromatic.
It grows best in full sun, only requires water every couple of weeks, although it does require good drainage, and it’s easy maintenance – metaphorically like me.
Source: http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Asteraceae/Santolina_virens.html
