Where Have I Been? June 13, 2008
Posted by greenlavender in Acting, Life, Ottawa, Personal.add a comment
I have been away from my blog for quite a while now and I apologize to my readers for the wait. Here’s an update:
Since May 5, I have been working as a stand-in on a TV show called Family Biz (aka Dad’s In The Attic), shooting here in Ottawa (Canada). It is my first time working as stand-in and let me say that I have learned that every actor should be a stand-in at least once in their career! Being on set while the crew is setting up a shot lets me learn so much I could not possibly learn as a performer. It is definitely going to help me improve the ‘technical side’ of my acting now that I understand better why directors ask actors to do things that don’t always seem to make sense. It will also help me tremendously when making my own films (did I mention I finished writing my first feature film? 
).
I am working on set until the end of August, so it’s an exciting (and very busy) summer. It’s like I am being paid to be in film school. It’s the best way to learn (for me anyway).
As a stand-in, I spend lots of time waiting on set and I have to remain focussed in case they need me at any moments’ notice. To stay focussed, I make sure I am present, in the moment, always observing what is going on around me. I can tell you I notice A LOT. I have noticed people’s reactions to comments made on set, what they look at, how they feel, even what they are thinking. It’s amazing how much you can learn when you are truly present. I will elaborate on a few observations at a later date. For now, I need to go get some shut eye.
Much love!
Thinking About Money But Not Making Any? April 30, 2008
Posted by greenlavender in Inspiration, Life, Personal, Spirituality.5 comments
On February 1, 2008, I wrote a post about feeling guilty for making money. The more comments I got, not just on my blog but also from people I know, the more I realized A LOT of people feel some form of limitation around making money.
In my post, I mentioned The Secret and how positive thoughts aren’t enough to help you get what you want. I wanted to elaborate on that. In The Secret, they mention that you must believe in your positive thoughts in order to obtain what you desire. I think they don’t stress that enough. Positive thinking is definitely the first step to your dream, but if you fall into a pattern of “I almost got it, but things turned sour again”, ask yourself what beliefs are preventing you from moving past that barrier.
Throughout your life, you ‘acquire’ beliefs based on different experiences. Whether it’s something you heard, saw or lived yourself. For example, you might associate money with being bad after hearing about terrorists and how they use plenty of money to fund their activities. Or it could be that your parents worked long hours or two or three jobs in order to make enough money to survive, so you might believe that to be rich you must work 100 hours a week.
This is something you do subconsciously, most of the time. Just think of how many experiences you have lived in your life and what beliefs you could have developed along with them.
If you have a belief that having money means you are bad, then why do so many rich people do good in the world? In the opposite, you might believe you are not good enough to have money. If so, then why was Saddam Hussein rich? That’s the first step in breaking those limiting beliefs — looking at them in a different light.
Sit down with a pen and paper and list all the beliefs you have around money. It might seem difficult at first. It was for me, but after listing two or three beliefs they started pooring out. Then, examine them one by one and ‘ridicule’ them, like I did above. Once you do that, rewrite your beliefs to remove the limitations. For example, a belief such as “I will become greedy if I have money”, could be rewritten to “I am and will be generous with my money”.
You can change your life to what you want it to be, despite what a stranger, friend or parent might say. You are the one controlling your life. Yes, controlling. Your thoughts control your life. If you want money, think and believe money. It is not a sin to want money and to be abundant; it is not greed if you choose not to be greedy; you deserve to make money; you don’t have to work until you’re burnt out to make money. Think of how much good you could do with that money and you will feel better about it. And if you want to do good with a lot of money, start doing good deeds now without money, today.
The way you think and live today will bring more of the same. If you feel abundant with what you have right now, you will attract more abundance. About a year ago, I wrote myself a cheque for a big amount. It was dated my birthday this year. On that day, I happened to glance at my cheque and saw visions of everyone and everything in my life and I suddenly got this overwhelming feeling all over my body. I felt like a millionaire. I let go of that million dollars because I already had it. I felt true happiness - the kind that comes from the gut. Since then, only good things have been happening. That’s the key: to let go and let things happen. To experience happiness in everything you do.
Never forget that you are the one person who can choose what to think, say, and do. Those thoughts, words and actions are the creators of your life. Let go and you will be free.
I Love Writing… March 27, 2008
Posted by greenlavender in Acting, Art, Movies, Ottawa, Personal, Show.2 comments
I finished writing my first script for a feature film and I realized that I absolutely love writing (I kind of knew that before, but now I’m sure). When my head doesn’t get in the way and I write from the heart, I can write for hours. I just finished my script and I am already thinking about the next one I will be writing. I am also thinking of how to direct the film I just finished writing. So, I think I will simply jot down my new ideas and concentrate on directing first.
I know my film will be produced AND distributed AND be very successful. I feel it in my gut. I have never directed before, but for some reason, I just know I am directing this feature film. I see it clearly in my mind and my heart. I just have to convince a producer that I can do it, and do it well for that matter. I will do that by developing the storyboard!
Gotta go… I’ve got a storyboard to do!
Enjoying The World’s Perfect Beauty March 12, 2008
Posted by greenlavender in Family, Inspiration, Life, Personal, Random, Travelling.1 comment so far
At 2am this morning, my husband, my two sleeping kids and I drove up to our house to find our driveway completely clear of snow. “Yeah!!!” we told ourselves. After getting 52cm (approx. 1′6″) of snow the day before, we were hoping that the 14 year old boy we asked to shovel while we were away for a week would get some help. He did, thank goodness. He had the key to the house which meant also access to our snow-blower in the garage.
What a perfect week we had. On March 4, the kids embarked on a plane journey for the first time. It was wonderful to watch them marvel in the beauty of the sky. It got me to see it for the first time again. How amazingly perfect is this world! At supper time, we landed in sunshine and warmth — wonderful Cuba. On the bus ride to the hotel, the cows, goats, roosters, palm trees, cactus’s, mountains, horse drawn buggies, old cars (we saw Flo from the movie Cars), all made my kids’ eyes as big as ‘loonies’ (a Canadian 1 dollar coin). “Regarde Maman!” they kept blurting out (“Look Mom!”). We could have turned around and hoped right back on the plane at that moment and it would have all been worth it. But more marvelous wonders were awaiting.
At the hotel, the Blau Costa Verde Beach Resort, an all-inclusive resort — it being our first trip with the kids, we wanted no worries about money and food – the kids, my husband and I enjoyed good food, a great beach, pool, room, everything was perfect. It’s a small resort, only 209 rooms, so it was quiet and we could find available pool chairs at anytime in the day. The staff was friendly and we met wonderful people from just about everywhere.
Being fifteen minutes away from the town of Guardalavaca, there were many excursions available. We had originally planned to do two, but one was attracting us most particularly, especially for the kids, and it being the most expensive, we only did the one. On Friday morning, we took the bus to the marina where we embarked on a huge catamaran, made to fit 80 people. Going against the waves around the island, our voyage was just like an amusement park ride. We were served drinks and snacks by the most friendly Cubans working just for us, to ensure we were all having a good time. We stopped near a coral reef, where my husband enjoyed snorkeling. I jumped in the water with my daughter, all ready with our snorkeling gear, she panicked first and wanted to get back on the boat. I didn’t complain — I have had this fear of swimming in open waters since I was a child. I was hoping to conquer it this week, but alas, I gave in to it. I will one day face it since it’s one of my last big fears I want to work on. My husband got to see beautiful, colorful fish (he saw Dory from Nemo), which he described perfectly for us.
Just before lunch, we stopped at the national aquarium where we got to swim with the dolphins. Wow, they are amazing creatures! I felt like they are very well treated, despite being in captivity. There were two babies and one dolphin was pregnant — when they reproduce it means they are happy. When I pet the first one, I was taken aback by the texture. Expecting it to be hard and like leather, I was surprised to feel rubber over very soft tissue. I was afraid to hurt it by petting it to hard. They were absolutely amazing and my kids said it was an experience they would never forget. We got a photo of the four of us and the dolphins giving us a kiss.
On the way back on the catamaran, it was smooth sailing — literally ’cause they took the sail out and we were going with the waves. We sat on a net at the front of the boat where you can see and feel the water beneath you. The Cuban landscape was beautiful.
The rest of the week was mostly relaxing by the pool and at the beach. We picked seashells for our friends; saw plenty of Hermit crabs and lizards. The kids participated in the entertainment at night. They also made great friends.
Yesterday, our voyage was ending. What a great ending it was!!! On the plane back, after a wonderful meal, I turned my head to peak out the window. A tear rolled down my cheek. A carpet of dark clouds was framed by a bright orange strip. The sun was setting. Looking up, a gradient of light blue to the deepest dark blue I had ever seen was endless. The combination of the orange and the blue barely touching was magical. The finishing touch was the tip of the plane’s wing, like a dark shadow with a single light at the end beaming a greenish glow. It was absolutely perfect, like the most beautiful painting.
What a wonderful end to our trip. It was even better when we got home and could pull into our driveway. 
How Often Do You Meet a Woman Who’s Been Dead 90 Years? February 18, 2008
Posted by greenlavender in About a Medium, Death, Energy, Mediumship, Metaphysical, Personal, Spirituality.3 comments
I had an interesting visit from a lady last night. I had just gone to bed. After writing a few pages in a journal, which I rarely do, I turned off the light and was trying to go to sleep. I started sensing someone coming in the room. I looked up to see if it was my husband coming to bed, but it wasn’t. Instead, my attention got drawn to a woman of about thirty to forty years old. She was dressed in a pretty off-white cotton blouse with long sleeves and frills, and she had an ankle length brownish skirt. Her hair was brown, in a bun with a few strands falling down to frame her face.
I was repeatedly seeing her neck break and her head falling to one side. She was lost and scared. I sensed she died around 1922. Then, I intuitively saw two men dressed in black suits with black hats. They were driving a black car — looked exactly like a Chrysler Six (I looked it up). I could see it following a dirt road, with a mountain on one side and a cliff on the other. The car stopped. The two men took the woman out of the car. Margaret, her name was Margaret. She was kicking trying to free herself. One man put his hand on her mouth, he took his other hand and swung her head to one side to break her neck. He then threw her over the cliff. I could see her falling from above, as if I was looking at her through his eyes.
I rarely meet souls that have been dead that long. It’s a little difficult to tell them that there is a big chance their loved ones are already dead and on the other side, especially when that’s what they are holding on to… The hope to find their loved ones. I explained to her that if she went to the light, she would find her loved ones on the other side. She left my room. Unfortunately, she hasn’t gone through the light yet, I can still feel her around.
Sometimes, trying to convince a spirit to go through the light is as much a challenge as trying to convince a living person to follow their heart.
Why? February 5, 2008
Posted by greenlavender in Inspiration, Life, New age, Personal, Spirituality.add a comment
For the longest time, I thought life was simple. You are born, you live, you die. While you live, you go through joys, sorrows, pains, fears, love, sadness,… then you die. For the longest time, I also asked myself the question: “why?”. Why am I scared when I am by myself? Why is that kid bullying me? Why am I attracted to that person and not the next one? Why am I taught that God forgives everything but if I dare sin, I’ll go to hell? Why are some people poor and some rich? Why am I hurt when someone tells me something but the next person feels nothing upon hearing the same words? Why do I believe people expect so much of me? Why am I capable of raising kids when I don’t have all the answers? Why do things go right when I want them to, and they go wrong when I believe them to? Why am I happy one moment and sad the next? Why do I live in Canada and not in Irak? Why am I in this body? Why am I here?
When you ask, the Universe responds. But only when you choose to listen and accept the answers that are given to you.
I had been asking myself the ‘why’ questions for many, many years, but had yet to receive answers, so I came to the conclusion that I would know everything only when I die. That’s what I thought, until I realized I wasn’t ready to know the answers. I was too caught up in my life drama, in my head, trying to figure things out. There’s nothing to figure out. When I started letting go, accepting ‘what is’ without judging whether it’s good or bad, I started getting answers to my questions. I could ’see’ the answers, but only when I got out of my mind, free of thoughts, sitting in my soul.
We are so afraid to miss a beat that we constantly fill our minds and our time with what we think are ’productive images and actions’, but in reality, these productive images and actions are like white noise covering up the truth. They keep us so busy that we don’t see what’s in front of us.
I try to imagine what life was like before I knew what I know today, but I can’t see it. Or, I don’t want to see it. I’m 33 years old and I would not go back in time. Today is THE day. This moment is THE moment. There is nothing else but this moment.
