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Are You Listening? December 20, 2007

Posted by greenlavender in Acting, Art, Emotions, Energy, Health, Inspiration, Life, Love, New age.

Our minds are constantly flowing with thoughts. Actually, flowing might not be the best choice of words… Our minds are constantly bombarded by thoughts, thousands of them per day. You know what? We choose to be bombarded by thoughts. We choose to listen to our own thoughts, despite what they are. They are the source of our stress, anxiety, impatience, and also of our happiness and joy. They also make us distracted. When was the last time you truly listened to your friend telling you a story? Without thinking about the story you want to tell? Without thinking of what you need to be doing at that moment? Without thinking of what you should have done that morning?

As an actor, thanks to many great teachers, I learned that the number one crucial thing in acting is listening. To be present with another actor, to make it about him or her. When you listen, you allow the other’s words to hit you, creating a natural reaction, free of ego, that is mesmirizing to watch. This is a great technique. But, why aren’t we taught to apply that in our everyday life?

Constantly listening to our thoughts while another is speaking is actually a way to feed our ego and to hide who we truly are. And we are all guilty of that, including yours truly. That’s the way we are taught, to live with our egos — because that’s the way our parents were taught, and their parents, and so on. We all want to feel important, needed, knowledgeable, you name it. We think that the way to do that is to make sure our words our heard as soon as a split second of silence appears in a conversation. Instead of listening to what the other is saying, we end up listening for a slight moment where we can jump in, and concentrating on what we want to say so we don’t forget it. When we end up getting our ‘moment’, we blurt out our words, without realizing that the person standing in front of us is also not listening, because they found something else they want to say. 

I have been practicing listening in my everyday life and I have had conversations where no words were spoken but were much, much more meaningful than ego-filled exchanges. You can discover so much more about another person and about yourself if you just let go and free your mind.

I dare you to try it today. To truly listen, you need to free your mind of your thoughts — ignore them basically. You need to concentrate on the other person, just make it about them, and don’t judge. Oh, and breathe… You’ll know why when you try it.

If it doesn’t work the first time, just keep trying. It takes practice. A great hockey player doesn’t make it to the NHL without having played for years.  

Let me know how it goes.



1. tobeme - December 29, 2007

Great post. Listening is the key to all of our relationships, including the one with ourself. When we learn to truly listen our life is enriched. Thanks for this excellent reminder.

2. greenlavender - January 14, 2008

Your welcome ToBeMe… 🙂

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