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What not to be, or… To be? June 4, 2012

Posted by greenlavender in "Time For Me" Blogs, Emotions, Family, Healing, Health, Life, Personal, Spirituality/ Well-Being Links.
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My last post freaked out my Mom. Can’t say I blame her, she’s a mother and her only kid writes to the world that she’s depressed. The thing is, I am so in touch with my body that I know when something is “wrong” and know that I need to change something, so I wasn’t worried. That being said, you might ask why, if I am so in touch with my¬† body, did I let it get as far as depression.
The answer is… I am human. I can resist change as much as the next person. I knew for quite a while that I was resisting changes happening in my and my family’s life, but my belief about what I thought I “had” to do during that period was overpowering my instinct to just “chill” and ride the wave. And that is… Ok.
I went through (and still am a bit) a rough period in which I have learned a lot about my way of thinking and reacting to certain situations, and I am adapting.
My major lesson boiled down to my quote in my blog’s header: “Chill, life is what you make of it”. And also that my only “mission” in life is as simple as “to be”, not try to be anything or anybody.
So, I started singing lessons. ūüôā

When depression hits and you didn’t even realize it was coming… January 17, 2012

Posted by greenlavender in Emotions, Healing, Health, Personal.
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– Me depressed? Pfffttt. No way, not me. I’m just a little tired… and my muscles ache a bit… and I’m a bit uninterested in stuff.

– What stuff?

– Stuff, you know. Like… stuff.

– Stuff? What are you interested in doing?

– Huh… well, let’s see. Maybe painting? Nah, I don’t feel like it, I have to clean the brushes after. Making a short film! Nah, too much work, there’s the editing, and… you know. Writing a review of the headphones I just bought! Urgghh, I don’t know what to say. Huh, I don’t know, really.

– Didn’t you say you had a headache too?

– Yeah, I’ve been having them for a while now. It’s really annoying, I think it’s just tension.

– Hmmm. You’re depressed my dear.

– Noooo, I swear I’m just a bit tired.

–¬†A bit?

– Okay, a lot.

– So you are tired (a lot), your muscles ache, you have constant headaches and you’re uninterested in “stuff”. Think of what you dream of doing right now… Do you feel like crying?

– Wha…? Hu…? <clears throat> Nahhh. <tear rolls down cheek>… Oh damnit.

So, there’s my latest story. I haven’t touched my blog, I haven’t painted, I haven’t¬†produced the 3 short films I have been wanting to do, all that¬†in a year.¬†

My sleep is deeply troubled (I once woke up 4 times standing in 4 different rooms of the house in one night); I am easily irritated, impatient, snappy… all that really unpleasant stuff. My muscles have been aching for months, my arms and legs are weak, I am always stiff in the neck, shoulders and back. And… I have been feeling like crying, a lot.

– I’m sorry it’s taken me that long to admit it.

– You don’t have to apologize. Give yourself forgiveness. You do what you can with what you know, always. You have a lesson to learn in this experience. You’ll figure out what it is soon enough.

– How do I get out of it?

– Will.

– Will who?

– No. <laugh> Your own will. Do you want to get out of depression and live a happy life again?

– Yes, very much.

– Then follow your heart, it will lead you to the right places and people.

– Follow my heart… It’s a little hard since I haven’t¬†followed it in a year. Huh, there’s my problem.

– Exactly. Are you scared?

– Yes.

–¬†Express your fear and move on.

– How?

– Find the positive in situations or projects, focus on what you really want and not what you don’t want.¬†Take some time for yourself to quiet your thoughts. Let yourself cry. Express your fear. Then move on.

– Thank you.

– My pleasure. I’m always here for you.

This was a conversation I had… with my heart. Now to follow it.

Honesty January 10, 2011

Posted by greenlavender in Emotions, Healing, Personal.
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What is honesty? Honesty is being truthful, acknowledging what is true and accepting it for what it is.

The most important thing for a human being is to be honest with thyself. Being honest with our own self allows us to see the truth in others even when they don’t see it themselves. It allows us to be free of judgement and free of pain. When we deny our true feelings, when we mask them with others, we cause suffering within our body. This suffering transforms itself into disease.

Realize we are all human beings with feelings, there is nothing to hide. Be aware of your true feelings. Learn to feel again.

Healing Akashic Records August 19, 2009

Posted by greenlavender in Akashic Records, Energy, Healing, Life, Metaphysical, New age, Personal, Spirituality.
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“Akashic¬†what?” You might ask. I wrote about my first visits to the Akashic Records back in 2007. In my first¬†post about it, I wrote: “…a brilliant prophet and clairvoyant, Edgar Cayce, who detailed one of his visits to the Akashic Records in a very similar way I just described. He defines the Akashic Records as ‚Äúthe collective memories and histories of every thought, sound, physical and emotional vibration, major event and incidental moment in eternity, an atmosheric presence that affects us all and we all affect with every breath we take‚ÄĚ. That’s the best definition of the Akashic Records I have read.

I’ve practiced visiting the Records in different ways, particularly through meditation, but the best way¬†for me¬†has been¬†through self-hypnosis. ¬†I find my consciousness does not ‘get in the way’, or interpret information¬†as easily with this method. When a psychic gets visions, it’s very easy for the consciousness or ‘ego’ to receive the information and assume some more. It takes a lot of practice to distinguish between stricly what you truly see and what you interpret. For me, self-hypnosis allows me to just get the information without interpreting or judging it.

What do I see in the Akashic Records? Well, let me describe a typical visit:

Before I start the self-hypnosis, I make sure I have a particular purpose for my visit. If my visit is to consult the records of another being, I make sure I have the information I need on that person: full name, age, date and place of birth. Then I ask a question out loud that pertains to what information I am seeking, for example: “please show me what this person needs to¬†reach his/her full potential¬†at this moment, in every aspect of their life”. ¬†Once that is clear, I begin my self-hypnosis ritual.

So I’m hypnotized, what now? My spirit guides are always there to help guide me through the hypnotic state. They bring me to the Records. I am greeted by the white bearded man dressed in white,¬†sitting at a white table, next to a white door. He hands me¬†a book that resembles a big encyclopedia. It’s my own book of records. When I go visit the Records for someone else, I am always given the chance to see my own records first. Now one thing you have to understand… Yes, I can see my own records, but I will only see what I am ready to see at that moment. If my body is not ready for particular bits of information, I will not see it. That’s the case for any psychic,¬†and even yourself when you go for a psychic reading. You will never¬†hear something you are not ready to hear. And¬†I¬†will not see lottery numbers if I or my client is not meant to win the lottery in their lifetime. I say that because it is a common question among people who don’t yet understand psychic abilities. Psychics don’t see ‘everything’, they see what they are meant to see or what they look for. (more…)